Monday, March 9, 2009

THE LOST MARKET


Staff & Shareholders in pool area.  Buck-Shot working on his statistical speech.



All the food and drug stained tuxedos have been returned to rental in southern California.  The Harley's are being returned to rental in central Florida and will be move to the next bike week.  The masses are evacuating California and I can only assume that they are headed for Oregon.  Time to get on the boat, on the train, in the bus, or hit the road.  Get to Oregon before the people that bankrupted California get there and do their evil deed.  Unfortunately the Pelosi-Frank-Obama Management Into The Next Crisis Team (PFOMITNCT, best pronounced if you spit as you verbalize it) are not on the bus, train, road, but hopefully they are on the boat.  It is leaking you know.  PS: yes, I am aware it would be normal to list President first, but Pelosi is 5 days older than Frank and they all being union types, she gets top billing.

All of my cows are eating hay and molasses.  I am dreaming of the day my cows will be eating green growing grass.  Hopefully soon.  We had the Ironhorse Farm shareholder meeting the other day.  Most of the cows wanted to move.  Move across the fence, to another pasture, to another day.  Most of the horses, well horses are horses and are not really investment minded, hell, if they don't have green growing grass they will rip up and eat the roots, and kill any chance of future grass.  Sort of like the people in California.  Sort of like PFOMITNCT (did you remember to spit).  But from our shareholder meeting did come one big plan for the future.  You may want to get your pen and paper ready.  We are going to create an entirely new market.  THE LOST MARKET (TLOMA). The cows are enthused over it and said "it will work", the horses said "sounds stupid and it will not work, and did you forget our treats?", the burros said "hell yes, this is do-able, we can sell it to the government, lets have lunch sometime".  Details are still classified (Obama has not put into effect the open government he promised), but the market will be entirely of worthless stock in bankrupted companies.  We will collect them, charge the poor stock holders to pick up the stuff, then we auction it off to the highest bidder.  The government will be the only bidder allowed in this market.  Sort of a reverse of the government saying only fanniefreddieginnymaywestbigmack or enruin can only do the dirty deeds.  As long as the FBI is not allowed to investigate us then we will do well.  Do not forget that this whole crisis was brought to us free of charge by the self regulation of investment banks, and by a multitude of government agencies rushing headlong to put poor people into better housing.  All in all, a decent endeavor.  But financially unsound.  Thanks to Frank and Pelosi and the rest of the elected herd, the thing thrived, grew, and festered.  The overseers saw.  Saw that the things bought some amount of votes.  They developed accounting procedures to account for the uncounted, the un-accountable, and to balance the unbalanced.  Moral hazard: each link in the mortgage chain made a profit while passing the credit risk to the next link in the chain. Structured investment vehicles:  deals with securitization of mortgage loans ....you can just make up about 30 words here, they will work to define it as about as well as any words the government or investment bankers will use.  End result is to take "bad stuff" off the balance sheet.  Replace it with, well nothing bad of course.  Only in America is this not called fraud.  Now Buck-Shot the pasture statistic-politician assures me that he can model the default risks amoung loans in a pool and that.......just make up about 50-80 words for this one and call it "Gaussian copula" this may be where you use your pen and paper.  This song and dance, done with strings and mirrors- sorry about that I got carried away, this technique was used by many who were able to close both eyes at the same time, but was filed in 13 by normal honest people.  It was exposed once everyone started losing money.  Amazing how that part works.  But listen, who was not happy ?  The poor people living well beyond their means were happy, the banks making bad loans but getting rid of the risk were happy, the politicians who were getting re-elected were happy, the CEOs of the banks and fanniefreddieginnymaywestbigmack and enruin that were making about $100,000 a year and getting bonuses of $ 3-700,000 a year they were and most still are happy.
I have some definitions to add but Iggie the cat says that a horse is eating the barn, the cows are planning on jumping over the moon, and the dog's brain melted in the sun.  Normal stuff here at the Ironhorse farm.  I think I better take another look at the balance sheet prior to the next shareholder meeting.  

1 comment:

  1. Oldest Bro19/3/09 13:15

    Living within our means is really not on the agenda for most of us because it takes away a lot of fun and frolic. It does however eliminate those messy foreclosures and bankruptcies that seem to be proliferating these days...........

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